Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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