We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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