Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it hurts more in the daytime
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
