I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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