there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
A+ Viking dick
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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