I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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