I only kidnapped one of them. chill
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
