i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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