Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
