There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
