I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
