guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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