So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
