Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
