Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
