Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
