Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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