is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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