i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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