You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
