nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My vagina just recognized that song.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
