Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
false alarm, still single
Randomize
