So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
