she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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