You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
