Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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