So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
