found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
