So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
