so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
