i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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