I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
