shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
