sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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