i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
