Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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