You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
