Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
