I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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