I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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