Plan B is the new Plan A
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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