Rock
Scissors
Fuck
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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