He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The adults are the big ones right?
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