He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found your dick twin last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
