It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
