do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
