There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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