its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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