i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
