im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
