Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
