you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
ttyl tear gas
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
