Betty ford says i'm here all night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
