Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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